Here's a new batch of monstrousities! For anyone who missed the first post a couple days ago, I'm a Pastry Chef at a small Cafe and my boss thinks he can make bread and won't let me do it. Here was today's batch. Please kill me.
by cookiesarenomnom
44 Comments
John-Fefin-Zoidberg
r/poopfromabutt
SharkBaitOohAhAh2
Do they sell?
BeardedBakerFS
No. No mercy killing for you. You deserve to live for showing us this again.
makkasoul
🫢
currydemon
They’re artisanal. Take them to a farmer’s market. They’ll sell like hot cakes.
C137RickSanches
Tell him we are concerned for his mental health. Or he’s a narcissist.
sajanite
It looks fossilized
HeyTuesdayPigInAPoke
I get better looking baguettes from a can of generic breadstick dough.
broken0lightbulb
Hey I’m the guy who said to make a fake account and stuff.
I’m back to say, omg how did they get worse?!
Tell your head chef if he needs that much bench flour he should go back to the basics. He can’t handle that hydration 😅
lilmayo888
I thought these were magic mushrooms😂
sunsetjuice
ohhhh no. oh no no no….
Brilliant-Kiwi-8669
Pastry chef here, these look like shit ….
BoxofGoodiesx
lol what a day to have eyes 😂, these look stiffer than cement
6cmofDanglingFury
You need to casually leave coupons and advertising for lasic, glasses, contacts, etc. lying around.
Other questions that have jumped into my head:
Does this individual drive?
Does this individual date?
Paradox711
Oh… no….
xidle2
Straight to jail.
Rich-Potato2861
oh god they look like burnt, ashy logs and there’s no way in hell they taste good or have a good crumb 😭 I am crying they are atrocious
I_Am_Become_Air
They look like something supplied for a women’s self defense class.
beetlekittyjosey1
there’s a small tourist mountain town that has a bakery and everyone kept telling me to go get their amazing baguettes. i got there and they looked like shit JUST like these lmao is this Mazama?!
britishparl
Fellow pastry guy here… these look like dogshit left to dry in the sun for a couple weeks. Absolutely unappetizing
AAAAHaSPIDER
What do they taste like? I want to see one cut open.
Helpful-Sandwich-560
this makes me feel violent lol
greendaruma
Almost 5 years ago I worked with a pastry chef who created the exact same kind of monstrosities, just in different shapes and I always wanted to cry. What a waste of time and ingredients (even if it’s low cost). The worst part is the other cooks and even the exec chef would praise him until he left for the day and then they’d admit to me later that his bread sucked. He along with the exec chef started at the same time so they were like family, and nobody wanted to hurt his feelings.
It drove me crazy because then I was the bitch because I wouldn’t lie to make him feel good.
Idk what to tell you other than you have all my sympathy. If he’s your boss, there’s probably not much you can do other than snarking with us. And try not to lose your mind when other people kiss his butt about his horrible bread.
ReleventReference
Say what you will but he’s getting better…in reverse.
HndsDwnThBest
Make your own, put them in the display next to those, see which ones sell first, and point it out. Rinse wipe and repeat until he gets it.
Do the food cost breakdown and present how much money is going to waste each day and month. And show how much money could be saved and made if they sold.
If he is a competent business owner or whoever is, he should understand and agree something needs to change. And he needs to put his feelings aside.
herb_ertlingerr
That focaccia (?) in the background of pic 2 looks pretty good at least
GotTheTee
We are enjoying this SO much! We being my son and me. The horror and the humor, all in some ugly logs.
jojocookiedough
They look like fossilized dog turds 😭
causticmango
JFC those look disgusting. If I saw those in a bakery I’d leave without buying anything they make.
MedicallyTraumatic
Come on, how does he not realize how fucking awful those are?? Are customers not pointing and laughing??
bringmethechipsss
Not gonna lie, when I was scrolling down my feed just now, I passed these up and had to do a double take. They look like old dried 💩
I thought I was looking at a Reddit group for hoarding or deep cleaning…or… something. I feel terrible that this is the first thing that came to mind seeing those, “baguettes.”💀💀
mentionitallll
I think I have sudden gluten intolerance just from seeing pictures of these baguettes
Remarkable-Thought-7
I legit thought i was looking at firewood
worldtravelerfromda6
Serve this to your enemy with no water.
BattledroidE
Yeah, no. I’m merely a pretty inexperienced home baker, but this is absolutely terrible, and even I can make better ones. You can’t charge for something like that.
Fair enough, baguette shaping is hard, it takes a lot of attempts to get consistently good at it, but we gotta have a bare minimum standard, at least. Let the best baguette shaper do it.
05twister
Hey, I have a solution for you. I believed that I noticed you lived in NYC. Have a baking friend of yours come into place of work and complain about the appearance of the baguettes. Make sure it is a bread baker from another place that knows their stuff. It is NYC. It is almost a given if New Yorkers see crap, they will make sure that their opnion is known. I’d volunteer, but alas, I moved from the big apple.
Drewbeede
Oof I’m sorry. You need a sign the explicitly states that these are made by your boss and you had no part in making these monstrosities.
ra6ia
i don’t know why i thought these were shrooms
AppealEasy2128
Do…do people actually purchase these.. umm .. creations of his?
Discofunkypants
The density of a dying star
Automatic-Hippo-2745
*ew brotha no….”
Edbrrr
Those are fucking hideous
ecaracal
How did they get WORSE. These are physically painful
ChanglingBlake
I made better looking bread the very first time I baked a loaf.
This is sacrilege to anyone that calls themself a baker.
44 Comments
r/poopfromabutt
Do they sell?
No. No mercy killing for you.
You deserve to live for showing us this again.
🫢
They’re artisanal. Take them to a farmer’s market. They’ll sell like hot cakes.
Tell him we are concerned for his mental health. Or he’s a narcissist.
It looks fossilized
I get better looking baguettes from a can of generic breadstick dough.
Hey I’m the guy who said to make a fake account and stuff.
I’m back to say, omg how did they get worse?!
Tell your head chef if he needs that much bench flour he should go back to the basics. He can’t handle that hydration 😅
I thought these were magic mushrooms😂
ohhhh no. oh no no no….
Pastry chef here, these look like shit ….
lol what a day to have eyes 😂, these look stiffer than cement
You need to casually leave coupons and advertising for lasic, glasses, contacts, etc. lying around.
Other questions that have jumped into my head:
Does this individual drive?
Does this individual date?
Oh… no….
Straight to jail.
oh god they look like burnt, ashy logs
and there’s no way in hell they taste good or have a good crumb 😭 I am crying they are atrocious
They look like something supplied for a women’s self defense class.
there’s a small tourist mountain town that has a bakery and everyone kept telling me to go get their amazing baguettes. i got there and they looked like shit JUST like these lmao is this Mazama?!
Fellow pastry guy here… these look like dogshit left to dry in the sun for a couple weeks. Absolutely unappetizing
What do they taste like? I want to see one cut open.
this makes me feel violent lol
Almost 5 years ago I worked with a pastry chef who created the exact same kind of monstrosities, just in different shapes and I always wanted to cry. What a waste of time and ingredients (even if it’s low cost). The worst part is the other cooks and even the exec chef would praise him until he left for the day and then they’d admit to me later that his bread sucked. He along with the exec chef started at the same time so they were like family, and nobody wanted to hurt his feelings.
It drove me crazy because then I was the bitch because I wouldn’t lie to make him feel good.
Idk what to tell you other than you have all my sympathy. If he’s your boss, there’s probably not much you can do other than snarking with us. And try not to lose your mind when other people kiss his butt about his horrible bread.
Say what you will but he’s getting better…in reverse.
Make your own, put them in the display next to those, see which ones sell first, and point it out. Rinse wipe and repeat until he gets it.
Do the food cost breakdown and present how much money is going to waste each day and month. And show how much money could be saved and made if they sold.
If he is a competent business owner or whoever is, he should understand and agree something needs to change. And he needs to put his feelings aside.
That focaccia (?) in the background of pic 2 looks pretty good at least
We are enjoying this SO much! We being my son and me. The horror and the humor, all in some ugly logs.
They look like fossilized dog turds 😭
JFC those look disgusting. If I saw those in a bakery I’d leave without buying anything they make.
Come on, how does he not realize how fucking awful those are?? Are customers not pointing and laughing??
Not gonna lie, when I was scrolling down my feed just now, I passed these up and had to do a double take. They look like old dried 💩
I thought I was looking at a Reddit group for hoarding or deep cleaning…or… something. I feel terrible that this is the first thing that came to mind seeing those, “baguettes.”💀💀
I think I have sudden gluten intolerance just from seeing pictures of these baguettes
I legit thought i was looking at firewood
Serve this to your enemy with no water.
Yeah, no. I’m merely a pretty inexperienced home baker, but this is absolutely terrible, and even I can make better ones. You can’t charge for something like that.
Fair enough, baguette shaping is hard, it takes a lot of attempts to get consistently good at it, but we gotta have a bare minimum standard, at least. Let the best baguette shaper do it.
Hey, I have a solution for you. I believed that I noticed you lived in NYC. Have a baking friend of yours come into place of work and complain about the appearance of the baguettes. Make sure it is a bread baker from another place that knows their stuff. It is NYC. It is almost a given if New Yorkers see crap, they will make sure that their opnion is known. I’d volunteer, but alas, I moved from the big apple.
Oof I’m sorry. You need a sign the explicitly states that these are made by your boss and you had no part in making these monstrosities.
i don’t know why i thought these were shrooms
Do…do people actually purchase these.. umm .. creations of his?
The density of a dying star
*ew brotha no….”
Those are fucking hideous
How did they get WORSE. These are physically painful
I made better looking bread the very first time I baked a loaf.
This is sacrilege to anyone that calls themself a baker.