So after reading about this week’s 19 Crime Snoop Dogg Meme Wine saga, I decided it would be fun to review the Cali Rosé.
I’ve tried the Cali Red, which was awful. If you ever thought, “What would happen if I mixed cherry robitussin with a packet of SwissMiss hot chocolate powder?” 19 Crimes Snoop Dogg Cali Red is the answer.
So after spending far too long in the grocery store, debating whether or not I should waste $11 on this “rosé,” I bought it. I almost couldn’t bring myself to do it, but thought it would hopefully bring my friends and I a few laughs and a bit of buzz (though at just 10.5%, not much of one).
Well, after opening it and tasting it, I can report to you all that it is, indeed, utter trash.
The first red flag was the color, which I can only describe as “antifreeze pink.”
The second red flag was the smell. As I brought the glass up to my nose, I was greeted with hints of cranberry and watermelon jolly rancher, with a hint of sulfur, finished with chlorine. It was an affront to the senses to say the least.
On the palate, it was sugar and acid. Like someone melted a watermelon jolly rancher and dumped it into a kiwi-strawberry Snapple, then added a bit of rubbing alcohol, just for the buzz.
Thankfully, it was crisper and not as viscose as the Cali Red.
In conclusion, if you’re like me, and want to remember that you should punish yourself for gluttony and overindulgence every so often, then you should buy this and drink some as penance. Otherwise, avoid this Snapple antifreeze at all costs.